4.

father for

my daddy had an immense laugh
in his fat towel & cigar

when days were soft & humid
he was sweet in his skin at the

TV mouth wide snoring like a
train. i was the one who loved

him. it didn’t mean anything then.
now he’s grass & stone sweet

to the sun it’s all he has now
except me. i find him in the

water of my tears & listening
to my heart pump. i only hope

i’m not disappointing him when
he swirls like blue smoke at my

toes while i dream. i was
the one who loved him &

he’s somewhere gone a
mystery maybe but i’m just

starting. i tell you this i
close my eyes & watch

him walk from his wheelchair
hug me, gather me, show me

all i need to know about
life. it’s all pretend though i hope

he’s an angel filling his loss
with pure light & splendid

flowers. i love him it
means too much as i walk

my own steps my own morning
fresh full of ghosts &

nerve.